Well, we did it. We got married. We were able to pay for everything wedding-related with a lot of help from our parents. People have asked if I would do it all again if I could. The answer the day after the wedding and still today is no. There was way too much stress, everything about the day was too expensive and it just wasn't worth it. I got to wear a real pretty dress though! If I had to do it all again, I would have eloped to get married with just Mike and I on a beach somewhere and come home and thrown a big party for less than half of what it cost to have a big wedding. That doesn't mean I regret it...it was WONDERFUL! We had a wonderful time, a fantastic day and we have some beautiful pictures to show for it. I just wouldn't do it again.
After the wedding, we went on our honeymoon to lovely and amazing Thailand. I didn't want to come home! In fact, I am kind of wishing that I was one of those farangs (Thai for "gringo") stuck there because of the siege pro-democracy protesters are waging on the Bangkok airports. I read today that 10,000 westerners are stuck in Thailand because there are no flights out. BUMMER! If it were me, I'd just get on a bus and head south for the islands. I could live like a queen for $20 a day!
The first question everyone asks is "How's married life?", the second is "When are you having kids?". Answer: 1. the same as non-married life; 2. someday.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Less than 5 months now....
I cannot f-ing believe it is coming so fast.
We started planning the bachelorette party this week. It's been decided that a trip to Catalina in September would be the ticket. Lovely Jenna, the MOH, sent out an email to the "ladies" this week and so far there are 11 people confirmed. I feel pretty bad that I won't be able to invite everyone to the wedding. The guest list is really getting out of control. The Turf Club has a maximum capacity of 220 for a seated dinner. Its gonna be hard to trim when the existing list of 242 still doesn't include many of Mike's family. AND, since his pops is paying for the food, I feel obligated to invite more of the Mejia family.
We also have not spoken to anyone at the catering company because, once again, Mike feels the need to talk to his insiders at the fairgrounds before I can make contact. I feel like such a nag, constantly asking him if he was able to talk to anyone yet. I don't like feeling this way. We have had a discussion about this on 2 prior occasions. I told him that I am ok with doing everything myself but if he wants to help, it needs to be done on time. Waiting for a month or 6 weeks to contact the catering company is not gonna fly. Those decisions need to be made so the people paying the bills have plenty of warning as to how much they are going to have to fork over.
I don't mean to be bitching about Mike. He is really doing a lot of work on our house and the yard trying to get everything to look nice for when we have a bunch a people there on October 10th for the rehearsal dinner. It is definitely going to be a giant project and getting it done will be a challenge. I think we can do it though.
We started planning the bachelorette party this week. It's been decided that a trip to Catalina in September would be the ticket. Lovely Jenna, the MOH, sent out an email to the "ladies" this week and so far there are 11 people confirmed. I feel pretty bad that I won't be able to invite everyone to the wedding. The guest list is really getting out of control. The Turf Club has a maximum capacity of 220 for a seated dinner. Its gonna be hard to trim when the existing list of 242 still doesn't include many of Mike's family. AND, since his pops is paying for the food, I feel obligated to invite more of the Mejia family.
We also have not spoken to anyone at the catering company because, once again, Mike feels the need to talk to his insiders at the fairgrounds before I can make contact. I feel like such a nag, constantly asking him if he was able to talk to anyone yet. I don't like feeling this way. We have had a discussion about this on 2 prior occasions. I told him that I am ok with doing everything myself but if he wants to help, it needs to be done on time. Waiting for a month or 6 weeks to contact the catering company is not gonna fly. Those decisions need to be made so the people paying the bills have plenty of warning as to how much they are going to have to fork over.
I don't mean to be bitching about Mike. He is really doing a lot of work on our house and the yard trying to get everything to look nice for when we have a bunch a people there on October 10th for the rehearsal dinner. It is definitely going to be a giant project and getting it done will be a challenge. I think we can do it though.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Effing Bridesmaids
How long does one person need to complete a task? I guess it depends on what the task is, right? What if the task is to get your measurements taken for a bridesmaid dress? On 3/25/08, I sent an email to all the BM's asking that they please get measured and give me the money for the dress by 4/10/08. I told them that the dresses must be ordered before 5/1/08 to ensure timely delivery of said dresses. How many do you think did either? NONE. When 4/10/08 came and went and still no one had gotten back to me with their sizes, I sent another email asking that they have the money and measurements to me by the 20th. How many this time? Actually, one. I had to pick up the phone and threaten 2 of them to get measured or they would be off the island! WTF? Like, how hard is it? I just don't understand.
Bottom line: I finally got size selections from everyone and money from everyone by 5/5/08. I had to float a check, but thankfully all worked out fine. It took over a month, though.
Note: My fiancee has told me to tell people that the wedding date is a week before the actual date so shit like this doesn't happen as we get closer to the date...I think I will take his advice from now on.
Bottom line: I finally got size selections from everyone and money from everyone by 5/5/08. I had to float a check, but thankfully all worked out fine. It took over a month, though.
Note: My fiancee has told me to tell people that the wedding date is a week before the actual date so shit like this doesn't happen as we get closer to the date...I think I will take his advice from now on.
The Jip Continues...not really
So...after the conversation with my parents where I was told there was only $5k available to me for my wedding, my fiancee and I talked and we decided to postpone the original date in late April '08 to October '08. We made this decision mostly because we wanted to give ourselves more time to save for the wedding. I told my parents.
About a week later, my mom calls and says that if we were willing to postpone, then they would be willing to reconsider their original "offer" and asked if I could get as much information as I could and come back to them and they would "see what they could do". In the meantime, my future father-in-law offered to pay for the food for the wedding. WHAT??!! That's a huge expense taken care of. What an amazing gift, right? So...I did all the planning I could. We met with multiple vendors to talk about prices of flowers and photography and cakes and I got estimates for everything. We agreed on prices, signed contracts, made deposits. I was pretty nervous signing the contracts because I still wasn't sure how they balances were going to be paid.
Last week, we finally met with my parents to give them the information. What happened? They said "No Problem". They complimented me on all the work that I had done and made me feel a lot better about everything. It seems to be working out.
About a week later, my mom calls and says that if we were willing to postpone, then they would be willing to reconsider their original "offer" and asked if I could get as much information as I could and come back to them and they would "see what they could do". In the meantime, my future father-in-law offered to pay for the food for the wedding. WHAT??!! That's a huge expense taken care of. What an amazing gift, right? So...I did all the planning I could. We met with multiple vendors to talk about prices of flowers and photography and cakes and I got estimates for everything. We agreed on prices, signed contracts, made deposits. I was pretty nervous signing the contracts because I still wasn't sure how they balances were going to be paid.
Last week, we finally met with my parents to give them the information. What happened? They said "No Problem". They complimented me on all the work that I had done and made me feel a lot better about everything. It seems to be working out.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Big Fat Jip
My younger sister got married about 3 1/2 years ago. My parents, mostly my mother and step-father, paid for the wedding. I'm not saying how much they spent, but $25K is a lot of money. I was told that I would get the same consideration. When my boyfriend asked me to marry him last August, I assumed that I could start planning my wedding. I bought a dress, started picking colors, started shopping for vendors; all the things you do when you are planning the biggest party you've ever thrown. We picked a date that was a little less than 9 months away. Then, out of the blue, they told me that they couldn't afford to give me more than $5,000. "We were surprised", they said. "We didn't think you were ever going to get married", they said. "You're older", they said. "You're more established in your life than she was. You guys live together. You have a career."
Are you kidding me? I'm older? I'm more established? We live together??? I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful. I am not. I appreciate the fact that not everyone has parents who will give them ANY money for anything, even the most important day of their life so far. AND I am thankful that my parents have the means to provide me with 5 grand and are willing to do so.
BUT WTF?
Why does my sis get a big fat wedding and I get bupkus? So my fiancee and I are expected to pay for our own wedding because we're older? I just don't understand this logic. If you can't afford it, fine. But, you couldn't really afford it 3 1/2 years ago either.
Are you kidding me? I'm older? I'm more established? We live together??? I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful. I am not. I appreciate the fact that not everyone has parents who will give them ANY money for anything, even the most important day of their life so far. AND I am thankful that my parents have the means to provide me with 5 grand and are willing to do so.
BUT WTF?
Why does my sis get a big fat wedding and I get bupkus? So my fiancee and I are expected to pay for our own wedding because we're older? I just don't understand this logic. If you can't afford it, fine. But, you couldn't really afford it 3 1/2 years ago either.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
6 Months to go!
Holy crap. There are just 6 months left before our wedding in October. There is no way I am going to be ready for this!
I totally thought that I was going to be ready for all this and now - after 2 months of doing nothing - I am totally behind!
I totally thought that I was going to be ready for all this and now - after 2 months of doing nothing - I am totally behind!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Long Time!
20 things that have happened since my last post (in no particular order)
1. My niece was born - Cambria Anne Torretto
2. I turned 33.
3. My live-in boyfriend asked me to marry him. I guess that makes us engaged.
4. I went roller skating.
5. My doctor informed me that I have 2 herniated disks in my spine and will need surgery to repair them.
6. I got a new computer monitor.
7. I went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas.
8. I spilled soda on my phone and it broke.
9. I got a new phone.
10. I got a hair cut.
11. My fiancee` turned 40!
12. I went to Pismo Beach for a work conference.
13. I got drunk.
14. I bought a wedding dress.
15. Summer came and went.
16. 3 of my friends' parent passed away.
17. I got some new music on iTunes
18. I started a Facebook page.
19. My back gave out on me.
20. I went to a quinceanera.
1. My niece was born - Cambria Anne Torretto
2. I turned 33.
3. My live-in boyfriend asked me to marry him. I guess that makes us engaged.
4. I went roller skating.
5. My doctor informed me that I have 2 herniated disks in my spine and will need surgery to repair them.
6. I got a new computer monitor.
7. I went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas.
8. I spilled soda on my phone and it broke.
9. I got a new phone.
10. I got a hair cut.
11. My fiancee` turned 40!
12. I went to Pismo Beach for a work conference.
13. I got drunk.
14. I bought a wedding dress.
15. Summer came and went.
16. 3 of my friends' parent passed away.
17. I got some new music on iTunes
18. I started a Facebook page.
19. My back gave out on me.
20. I went to a quinceanera.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Granny's going to a home
I am a horrible person.
Let me back up a bit. For the past few months, my grandmother has not been doing too great. Twice she was found fast asleep while her dinner burned on the stove. Had my mother not stopped by to check on her, the house would have surely gone up in flames and her along with it. After that, we decided it was not a good idea for her to have to cook dinner for herself. (Breakfast and lunch were ok because they did not require the use of the stove or oven) So, my mother and sister and I started taking turns going over to her house to spend some time with her, cook dinner and get her to bed. This was fine until 2 1/2 weeks ago when she lost her balance and fell down. She wasn't hurt, but she is so frail and weak that she couldn't get herself up off the floor. Then, later that day, I was there to cook dinner and watched her through the window slip off her bed and onto the floor again. She had been struggling to get her shoes off for about 20 minutes before I got there and for 10 minutes I watched helplessly as she continued to fight with those damn shoes. I kept telling her to forget about the shoes and crawl over to the sliding glass door and unlock it so I could come in and help her. She either wasn't listening or she didn't hear me because she kept messing with them. She finally lost her balance and slipped off the bed and onto the floor. It's a good thing my BF was there to figure out how to break in because I didn't have a key. After that, we decided that she can't be alone in her house at all anymore. "So how is that supposed to work?", I asked. I was told that we would "just figure it out".
The thing is, I have a job that requires me to actually be at work. My sister has a job that requires she be at work. My mom...the same. How can we be with her 24 hrs a day and still earn a living? There is another thing. That is, granny doesn't want to move from her house and she doesn't want anyone to live with her. That puts a real monkey wrench in any plans any of us had for the near future. Also, to top it all off, my sister is about 8 1/2 months pregnant and will soon not be able to do anything but take care of her new baby. That leaves me and my mother to take care of granny 24 hours a day.
It seems that we have the daytime taken care of now. Grandma's Long Term Care policy provides a meager amount to pay for home health care. We now have Maria come Monday-Friday from 7am-5pm. This allows everyone to go to work. That leaves us with taking care of her from 5pm-7am. Yep, you guessed it, spend the night. Also, she needs 24 hour care on the weekends. You guessed it again, we take turns spending 24 hours with her. The worst part is that she doesn't want to leave her house. So when it is my day, I have to spend the entire 24 hours inside her house with the windows closed up tighter than Fort Knox. (old people chill easily, you know). I never knew time could pass by so slowly! This brings me to my original statement: I am a horrible person.
Never in my life would I have thought I would want to put granny in a "home". It always seemed to be such a death sentence. But the reality of this situation is that she can't live by herself with no one to supervise her and she refuses to have someone come and live with her. So, we have to pick the lesser of two evils at this point, right? This "home" is an assisted living facility that would provide her the care and attention that she needs.
I feel horrible that we are even considering this, but I CAN'T be counted on to spend every other night at my Grandma's house. I have commitments and responsibilities that I either can't or don't want to cancel. I need those activites for my sanity. I know my mom feels the same way. I think I am just trying to justify the fact that she needs to go but I don't want to be the one to put her there.
Let me back up a bit. For the past few months, my grandmother has not been doing too great. Twice she was found fast asleep while her dinner burned on the stove. Had my mother not stopped by to check on her, the house would have surely gone up in flames and her along with it. After that, we decided it was not a good idea for her to have to cook dinner for herself. (Breakfast and lunch were ok because they did not require the use of the stove or oven) So, my mother and sister and I started taking turns going over to her house to spend some time with her, cook dinner and get her to bed. This was fine until 2 1/2 weeks ago when she lost her balance and fell down. She wasn't hurt, but she is so frail and weak that she couldn't get herself up off the floor. Then, later that day, I was there to cook dinner and watched her through the window slip off her bed and onto the floor again. She had been struggling to get her shoes off for about 20 minutes before I got there and for 10 minutes I watched helplessly as she continued to fight with those damn shoes. I kept telling her to forget about the shoes and crawl over to the sliding glass door and unlock it so I could come in and help her. She either wasn't listening or she didn't hear me because she kept messing with them. She finally lost her balance and slipped off the bed and onto the floor. It's a good thing my BF was there to figure out how to break in because I didn't have a key. After that, we decided that she can't be alone in her house at all anymore. "So how is that supposed to work?", I asked. I was told that we would "just figure it out".
The thing is, I have a job that requires me to actually be at work. My sister has a job that requires she be at work. My mom...the same. How can we be with her 24 hrs a day and still earn a living? There is another thing. That is, granny doesn't want to move from her house and she doesn't want anyone to live with her. That puts a real monkey wrench in any plans any of us had for the near future. Also, to top it all off, my sister is about 8 1/2 months pregnant and will soon not be able to do anything but take care of her new baby. That leaves me and my mother to take care of granny 24 hours a day.
It seems that we have the daytime taken care of now. Grandma's Long Term Care policy provides a meager amount to pay for home health care. We now have Maria come Monday-Friday from 7am-5pm. This allows everyone to go to work. That leaves us with taking care of her from 5pm-7am. Yep, you guessed it, spend the night. Also, she needs 24 hour care on the weekends. You guessed it again, we take turns spending 24 hours with her. The worst part is that she doesn't want to leave her house. So when it is my day, I have to spend the entire 24 hours inside her house with the windows closed up tighter than Fort Knox. (old people chill easily, you know). I never knew time could pass by so slowly! This brings me to my original statement: I am a horrible person.
Never in my life would I have thought I would want to put granny in a "home". It always seemed to be such a death sentence. But the reality of this situation is that she can't live by herself with no one to supervise her and she refuses to have someone come and live with her. So, we have to pick the lesser of two evils at this point, right? This "home" is an assisted living facility that would provide her the care and attention that she needs.
I feel horrible that we are even considering this, but I CAN'T be counted on to spend every other night at my Grandma's house. I have commitments and responsibilities that I either can't or don't want to cancel. I need those activites for my sanity. I know my mom feels the same way. I think I am just trying to justify the fact that she needs to go but I don't want to be the one to put her there.
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